Christmas Day. A brighter and humorous post.
Quite a few years ago I was moving into a new place (new to me).
Perdita, my Dalmatian puppy was now about 4 months old, and stayed at the barn during the day throughout the week while I was at work. She was happiest there, had her own stall to stay in for the day, so that she could potty at will, had her toys, her food and water, and this was the safest and best location for her while I was at work.
The last 10 days prior to occupancy, the old residence had expired, and the new was delayed by renovations. I made the decisions to stay in a Motel, Monday through Thursday evenings, and then “camp” over the weekend at a KOA across the Border. Perdita was unaffected by the change, as she continued to spend the days at the barn, and the nights where I was. And to her, as long as I was there, food and water, a place to potty, life was no different.
On the Friday night, I arrived at the KOA after 11 pm. Found a parking spot for the camper, and then set up the rig for the night. I walked Perdita to the KOA washrooms, which were located quite a distance from the parking place the camper was located at. Due to the hour of arrival, I could not determine the lifestyles nor types of occupants of the neighboring campers. Chance to do that in the morning.
We returned to the camper and got settled in for the night.
About 2 am I awoke and had the overwhelming need to empty my bladder, ‘quickly’ very quickly. I woke up, and so very quickly made a snap assessment of the surroundings determined from “our walk” earlier. It was 2 am. To walk all the way to the washrooms, I would have to get fully dressed, get Perdita outfitted with collar and leash, and search for the flashlight and puppy bag (just in case she decided she needed to go), and then hope I actually made it in time to get to the washroom.
My snap judgement was to simply sneak behind the camper and then boil water over the spot in the morning or use disinfectant or whatever. It was 2 am, I did not want to fully wake up, just to potty; when I could properly deal with the aftermath in the morning sometime.
All I had on was my panties and a T-Shirt. I stepped out of the camper, gently closed the door so as to not wake Perdita, and walked a few feet to the rear of the camper.
Just as I was pulling down my panties, I heard the horrifying noise of “click, click, click, click, click” in a rapid succession.
Horrors, NO! You Have Got To Be Kidding Me!
I jumped up and ran to the door. You guessed it, locked! Locked solid as electronic locks can lock up.
I looked to the Driver’s window. This little white face was noodle wiggling in celebration of waking up, and finding me, though I be outside and she inside.
After wanting to cry, I wanted to die. You can not jimmy electronic locks. I was standing outside of my camper in my panties and a T-shirt in another country at 2 am. No keys, no money.
I went to the window and tried to have Perdita imitate me by licking the lock upwards. I spent over 15 minutes on this tactic, which just made her wiggle noodle all the more, “mommy was acting so funny!”
I then tried to have her stand on the panel again, this time stepping on the unlock button. No avail.
I then remembered that the entrance to the KOA had a payphone. So off I went praying with all my heart and soul that no one would drive by.
I got to the payphone and called the Operator. When she came on, I explained my situation and asked her to call Roadside Assistance collect. The Operator refused. She told me that it was an Out of Country Long Distance Call and she refused to put the call through collect. She also stated that they could not come to assist me in a foreign country!!!! So I asked her if she would call “911”. Again she refused, saying that this was not an emergency, I should just go and wake someone in the campground and either ask for their cell to call or for funds to make the long distance call. Now, in hindsight, I should have asked for her supervisor, but at the moment, I was far to vulnerable and fearful of the state of my dress.
So, I made the choice to walk the 6 miles to the International Border and have the Border Guards call Roadside Assistance.
Every time I heard a car, or people talking, I dove into the bushes until they passed.
About 6:30 am I walked into the Border and Customs office at the International Border. My feet were literally black as tar and I must have been a sight. All the Inspector on duty said was, as he gave me his jacket, “Who do you want me to call, I won’t ask any details.” Which I found to be very funny, and so it let loose a flood of held in stress, and I started to laugh uncontrollably.
After a few minutes of explanation, he called Roadside Assistance, but neglected to say it was an emergency. And so I sat, in T-Shirt and panties for another hour. As soon as I spotted the Roadside Van, in one swift movement, I returned the Inspector’s jacket to him, threw back a quick “thank you” and flew out the door to the Van.
The Driver had only started to open his door, and never had a chance to swing his legs out, and I was at the passenger door knocking for him to open it.
He took one look at me, and started to laugh. I waited a few minutes for his laughter to slow a bit, and then said, “I guess I learned my lesson to not ever take a midnight potty behind my camper, ever again.”
While I retold the experience of the evening, the Roadside Driver could not stop laughing. Once I finished he looked at me and asked, “do you want to hear the frosting on the cake to your evening?”
“Sure” I said, couldn’t get any better than this can it?
Still laughing he said, “You are my first call after being on my honeymoon vacation for 3 wks.; a honeymoon vacation that did not go so well.”
I looked at him, and we both burst into tears laughing.
We drove back to the Camper in the KOA laughing our heads off together.
He made the unnecessary remark of “if this ever happens again, do not say anything to the Operator, but to put through an emergency call to Roadside to arrange for a tow to the Border for your vehicle, they will then put the call through.”
I looked him in the eye and said, “Happen again?” “Are you serious!” “This will NEVER happen again. My keys will never leave my hand, ever, ever again!”
And they never did.
When we arrived, there was Perdita sound asleep in the bed. Camper locked up tight as ever. And when we unlocked the Camper, she opened an eye, stretched and looked as if “did you have a good sleep too mommy?”
Yes dear. Splendid.
My saving grace was no one nearby appeared to be awake yet, or “home” when I returned to have my camper opened up.
Ah the innocence of children and pets’ actions. Teaches us adults to stay accountable at all times at all costs!